Hot Take: Trying on My Wedding Dress Wasn’t Exactly My Idea of Fun

I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but trying on my wedding dress wasn’t exactly something I had been dreaming about. In fact, I went into the day fully expecting to not find a dress.

I should also mention that we are almost a year out from the wedding, which, according to every bridal timeline on the internet, is a little early to be shopping for a dress.

Normally, I’d wait. But with my excision surgery scheduled for September, followed by what I expect will be a pretty significant recovery, I knew future me wasn’t going to want to spend post-op trying on wedding gowns. So we bumped the timeline up a bit.

Every married woman in my life has told me the same thing: the dress they swore they wanted ended up being nothing like the one they chose. They walked in with Pinterest boards full of one silhouette and walked out with something completely different. I was convinced that wouldn’t happen to me.

I’ve been to several bridal appointments with sisters and friends over the years, and if I’m being honest… I never envied the bride. Sitting on a pedestal while rotating through dress after dress as a room full of women watched, smiled, gasped and waited for my reaction? Hard pass.

I also hate trying on clothes. To be clear—I love fashion. I love shopping. I just prefer doing it from my couch, adding seventeen things to my cart, trying them on in my own bedroom, and dramatically returning twelve of them without an audience. And while I absolutely love being the center of attention… that’s only if I’m on a stage.

This kind of spotlight? Slightly terrifying.

The Unexpected Perk of Being an “Older” Bride

One thing I didn’t anticipate appreciating so much was getting married a little later in life.

This wasn’t my first bridal appointment. I’d seen enough fittings to know how the process worked, which meant I wasn’t easily persuaded. The stylist would hold something up covered in lace and sparkle and I’d immediately say, “Nope.” Respectfully. I also had zero interest in pretending to like something just because someone else did. If I didn’t love it on the hanger, I wasn’t wasting either of our time.

Another unexpected perk? My three toddler nieces got to come. Selfishly, I want them involved in every little wedding memory I can possibly squeeze them into. They’ll probably remember none of it. I, however, will remember all of it.

Real quick…

There was one point that week when we weren’t even sure everyone would be able to make it.

Just three days before my appointment, my niece Gemma had been admitted to the hospital after running a 103-degree fever for nearly a week. It was one of those stretches where nothing else really matters besides getting your little one healthy again.

Thankfully, she turned the corner just in time.

So before I go any further, I have to give a little shoutout to Gemma for bouncing back like the resilient, brave girl she is—and to my sister, Gabby, because watching your child be sick with no clear indication is a special kind of exhausting. I know making the trip that morning wasn’t a given, and it meant so much that they were able to be there.

The Morning Of

I spent the night at my older sister’s house, sharing a bed with my youngest sister. Something we’ve done dozens of times over the course of our lives. At this point, I’d say we’re unfortunately familiar with each other’s sleeping habits.

As someone who had recently gone through this exact process, and who understands the complicated relationship body image can have with moments like these, my youngest sister had a calming presence that I didn’t realize I’d need. I’ve never had to edit myself around her. I can say exactly what I’m thinking, exactly what I’m feeling, and never worry about how it’ll be received. That’s a gift. Love you Kara.

I set my alarm for 6:45 a.m. so we’d be out the door by 8:30, but somehow I woke up before it even went off. I showered, threw on some light makeup, gave myself a blowout with my new L’ange brush, which, by the way, is absolutely worth the hype if you’re sporting a bob, and pulled on my new Shop Pink Bronco sweatshirt with a pair of barrel jeans.

The best part? No bra. My girlies know.

Right around 8:20, my best friend since middle school, Lauren (although she’s exclusively answered to “Lo” for the last twenty-plus years) arrived. Just before we headed out the door, my older sister handed me a freshly made espresso like the angel she is, and we were off.

In our car: my older sister and playmaker Ashley, my youngest sister Kara, Lo, and my niece Skyler. In the second car: my other younger sister Gabby, her daughters Gemma and Josie, and of course my mom.

The drive consisted of Disney classics, fist pumping to The Outliers, and Lo doing what Lo has done for over two decades, telling stories that somehow leave every single person in the car shaking their head of laughter.

Off to the Races

We were the first to arrive. Shortly after, the second car pulled in, and before long all of my favorite women were standing together on the sidewalk outside the bridal boutique.

I had rented the larger fitting room so my nieces could be part of the experience. Would they fully understand what was happening? Well considering they asked if it was my wedding a dozen times, probably not.

And of course I couldn’t let them come empty-handed. The night before, I made each of them little YES and NO paddles so they could officially cast their votes after every dress. It was adorable…for about ten minutes. Then the paddles were abandoned somewhere in the fitting room in favor of snacks, IPADS, spinning in circles, and generally being toddlers. I should’ve seen that coming.

Once we got settled, my stylist, Savannah, from Lovely Bride Rochester walked me through the process. And just like that… off to the races. The first dress - a Jenny Yoo, was gorgeous. It fit beautifully, it photographed beautifully, honestly, it set the bar pretty high.

Six more dresses followed. At that point I found myself in a surprising predicament. There wasn’t a single dress I hated. Equally problematic… There wasn’t one I loved enough to confidently swipe Sean’s credit card.

The In-Between Moments

Can I tell you my favorite part of the entire appointment? It wasn’t standing in front of the mirror. It wasn’t finding the dress. It was everything happening in between.

My nieces twirling around the room while Gabby replenished their attention meters with snacks, juice boxes, and the occasional reminder that Auntie was still trying on dresses.

My older sister—who has worked in fashion her entire career—was absolutely thriving. She was photographing tags, taking notes, comparing designers, remembering style numbers… just radiating fashion queen energy.

Lo making everyone laugh.

Kara encouraged each dress I tried on.

And my mom quietly studied each dress and continued to flash me a smile to let me know there wasn’t a wrong choice, just my choice.

At first, everyone seemed hesitant to share their opinions. Which, I appreciate. They wanted me to come to my own conclusion. But friends… I wanted the feedback. At this point I needed the feedback. Because I could’ve gone in about six different directions.

Naturally, opinions were split. Dress number one had its supporters. The most recent dress had its fans. Then my mom spoke up.

She asked Savannah if they had a dress with a similar bodice to the one I was wearing, but with a lighter skirt. Because if there’s one thing everyone in my life knows about me…I’m a mover. And I don’t just mean on the dance floor. I mean every waking minute of every day.

The only people missing were my soon-to-be sisters-in-law and future mother-in-law. I would’ve loved to have had them there in person, but getting to FaceTime them from the salon and watch their reactions in real time ended up being the next best thing.

Savannah disappeared for a minute and returned with one final Jenny Yoo gown. Technically it belonged to another bride who was currently trying it on in another fitting room. So…I guess we stole it.

The second I put it on, I knew. It felt secure. It felt like me. It somehow managed to be elegant without making me feel like I couldn’t breathe. Most importantly…I could execute the Bee’s Knees flawlessly. Which, if you know me, should honestly be listed somewhere in the bridal requirements.

Way to go, Mom.

–

Looking around the room - seeing my sisters, my mom, my best friend, my nieces—each of them bringing something different to the day is an experience I will never forget. Some made me laugh. Some kept me grounded. Some reminded me to trust myself. One even discovered my wedding dress.

We really are nothing without the people who show up for us. Whether they were sitting beside me in the fitting room or smiling through a FaceTime screen, I was reminded just how lucky I am to have the support system that I do.